


Sun

by MaskedMew



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dating, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Memes, Panic Attacks, Phone Calls, Sleepy Cuddles, Suffering, Temporary Goodbyes, cute emoji text conversations, cute kisses, kageyama plays the piano, there's funny parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-05-28 21:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6345709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaskedMew/pseuds/MaskedMew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The word ‘change’, it’s so loose, you know? Of course things have changed. Your hair’s longer. I’m lonelier. We’re not high school students anymore. So, what do you mean when you say ‘this doesn’t change things’?</p>
<p>Good-bye isn't supposed to be easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There’s so much sun where I’m from, I had to give it away. Had to give you away.

Goodbye wasn’t supposed to be easy. ‘Goodbye’ wouldn’t be so damn memorable if it was easy. This particular goodbye had been the kind of goodbye that Kageyama would remember every-time he closed his eyes for weeks, maybe years. It haunted his dreams and thoughts at all hours. This was the end of high-school, the transition into something new and unknown. And goodbye had started with an argument. “Wait, what do you mean, you changed your mind?” Kageyama exclaimed, “I thought...I thought you already accepted-” It was just a week past graduation. The sun was setting. Its rays were bright orange, with purple hues dancing around the edges. This was the end. Maybe not of the world, but of the end of the way things had been for three years. Fear ran through Kageyama’s veins.

Hinata bounced nervously from foot to foot.“I didn’t change my mind Kageyama. I just, I can’t go to that college. Unlike you, I wasn’t offered a scholarship. and I uh, I failed the entrance exam. I swear I  tried my hardest! I guess my hardest just wasn’t enough…,” he coughs, ”Anyways, another scholarship, close to home, popped up and I think I’d rather go there. I know you didn’t want us to separate, but, you know, it was always my goal to defeat you Tobio. This just means I’ll get my chance.”

“But we are supposed to be together,” Kageyama whined, “We’re the power duo.” Hinata shook his head, eyes meeting Kageyama’s.

“You don’t need me to be strong,” Hinata responded, “I’m sure your school will have spikers just as skilled or more skilled than me.”

“You’re making things difficult!” Kageyama snapped, throwing his hands down in anguish, “I don’t want other spikers, I want you!”

“You already have me,” Hinata said, taking Kageyama’s hands and holding them still, “You just won’t have me on the same team.” Kageyama tried to tear himself away, but the will to do so died as he saw Hinata frown. He held still, and listened to the wind pass between them. He wished he would’ve brought a heavier jacket. Spring was supposed to be warm. “I’m going to miss you,” Hinata said softly. Kageyama dropped his hands, and wrapped his arms around the shorter boy’s torso. He rested his head on top of Shouyou’s.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” he murmured, staring wistfully at the ground, “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I’m not the one leaving. You are,” Hinata responded, moving a little back, taking a hand and gently moving Kageyama’s head so that his attention was on him. He got on his tiptoes, and kissed him.

“It’s not fair Shouyou,” Kageyama whispered.

“I know,” Hinata breathed, “I know.” Their lips met again. Hinata’s lips tasted bittersweet. They were chapped from the wind, but he was warm.

“Is this goodbye?” Kageyama asked.

“Don’t call it that,” Hinata said, desperately kissing him again, “Call it… See you later.” Kageyama did his best not to cry, but when he saw tears in Hinata’s eyes he couldn’t help it. “Don’t cry!” Hinata exclaimed, despite crying himself. “Please,” Hinata whispered, reaching up and wiping Kageyama’s tears away with the palm of his hand. He kissed Kageyama again, leaving a trail of soft kisses along his neck before meeting his lips again. Kageyama couldn’t help but smile at the way it tickled. They both knew that was one of his favorite feelings.

The wind had started to die down, and the sun was almost completely gone, buried beneath the horizon. Hinata broke away. “Don’t go,” Kageyama begged, “We have to make this last.”

“I have to,” Hinata said, disappointment in his voice, starting to turn away. Kageyama reached out and caught Shouyou’s wrist.

“Wait.” Hinata didn’t resist. “Is this the end?” Kageyama asked, blue eyes wide.

“No. I promise,” Hinata immediately responded, giving him a last kiss. Hinata’s hands landed on Kageyama’s shoulder and waist with surprising strength, and Kageyama held just as tightly. This kiss was the longest. Neither wanted to break it, neither wanted to let go. They knew well what letting go meant, and neither were ready for it. They didn’t want to lose the sickly sweet feeling in their stomach. Kageyama tried to memorize the feel of Hinata’s lips, while Hinata memorized the feel of Kageyama’s tongue. And then he let go, giving a small smile to his boyfriend. “Good-bye Tobio,” he said, “See you later?” Kageyama stood there silently, watching Hinata’s movement. He didn’t want to forget his ray of sunshine. “Tobio, please,” Hinata said, breaking Kageyama’s focus.

“Good-bye Shouyou,” Kageyama murmured, “Don’t forget about me.”

“How could I? You’re the best thing that’s happened to me!” Hinata responded brightly.

“R-Really?” Kageyama asked, mouth hanging open in shock.

“The best,” Hinata confirmed.

 

_Why did I have to give you away?_

 

Hinata walked alone down the sidewalk, getting into the car with his mother. The car disappeared, leaving Kageyama to stare at the sky. The sun was gone. The orange light had left the sky, leaving a hazy purple that made the emptiness inside him hurt worse. Tears streaked his face like the thin clouds in the sky. He walked down the street. His house was waiting. His things were waiting. He took a deep breath. He’d never liked change, but he reminded himself constantly that change is essential to growth.

 

It doesn’t make it any less painful.

…

Kageyama woke up to the sound of his roommate knocking his alarm clock off the nightstand. Again. “Sorry,” he grumbled. It was the third time it had happened this week. Kageyama was starting to get used to his lanky roommate’s clumsiness. It still amazed him that this kid had gotten into the same college as him. He wouldn’t say as much though, as this guy was supposed to be his spiker and that meant they needed to have a stable relationship. This guy happened to remind him of Hinata. His silver haired dorm mate was loud and overenthusiastic. He would jump when over excited. It wasn’t as cute on someone that tall.

“If you break that thing, I’m going to break your face,” Kageyama hissed, “Why don’t you just use your phone?”

“I get it, you’re not a morning person,” Lev responded with a smile, picking the clock up and plopping it back onto the stand. Hinata had once said the same thing.

…

Summer, Second Year

It was an unusual feeling, having someone laying against you in bed, keeping you warm. Shouyou’s head was lying on Kageyama’s chest. His brown eyes were open, watching the gentle motion of Kageyama’s breathing. They were both awake, but they knew moving meant cold. Kageyama’s eyes snapped open. “Ugh,” he whined, “These stupid floor beds are so damn uncomfortable, I’m so stiff.”

“Not a morning person, huh?” Hinata responded cheerfully, sitting up, taking the sheet with him.

“You dumbass, I need that!” Kageyama hissed, clutching at the cover and pulling it back down. His head hit the hard pillow, and he attempted to get cozy and warm again. He watched Hinata from the security of the blanket.

“It’s weird hearing the room this silent,” Hinata whispered, looking around, “Seeing these guys, well, still.”

“Join us,” Kageyama replied, “Sleep is nice.”

“You know that Ennoshita’s gonna drag us out of bed in a few minutes anyways. There’s no point trying to go back to sleep,” Hinata responded matter-o-factly.

“You’re annoying when you’re right,” Kageyama snapped, grabbing the back of Hinata’s t-shirt and pulling him down beside him. “But I don’t want to waste any time,” Kageyama continued. He moved the sheet so that it completely covered both of their bodies. He could feel Hinata’s hot breath against his face. He kissed Hinata clumsily, bumping into the other boy’s nose and clacking their teeth together.

“I feel like a little kid,” Hinata breathed, “‘Cept instead of playing prince in a pillow fort I’m kissing a prince.” Kageyama rolled his eyes,

“Corny,” he murmured, and started to kiss along Hinata’s neck. Around the collarbone, Hinata winced.

“That was little hard,” he whispered.

“Sorry,” Kageyama said, blushing, “I’ve never really done anything like this.”

“Really?” Hinata asked, looking genuinely surprised, “Then I’ll show you how I do it.” He started gently, leaving kisses that tickled Kageyama’s skin in a good way, and left him feeling warm. “Never thought I’d be showing _you_ how to do something,” Hinata said, giggling.

They froze at the sound of a voice, “Please have clothes on, please have clothes on, please have-.” The sheet was pulled off, revealing the two boys lying close to each other. They each immediately darted away from the other, faces bright red. Yamaguchi breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Ennoshita was getting the first years. He told me to get you guys up,” Yamaguchi explained. He scratched at his neck, “Are you guys getting up or?”

Kageyama stood up, staring directly into Yamaguchi’s eyes, “You saw _nothing_ ,” he hissed. Yamaguchi jumped a little. From across the room they heard Tsukki shout,

“Why are you hiding it? Everyone knows you’re together.” Kageyama’s face continued to redden.

“Everyone?” he squeaked.

“Yes, everyone,” Tsukki confirmed. Hinata giggled,

“I told you it was no use trying to hide it,” he said, “They could see your gay from a mile away.”

“I’m not that flamboyant!” Kageyama exclaimed, trying to catch Hinata as he sprinted for the door, out of Kageyama’s grasp. “I’m going to kick your ass!” he shouted, running out of the room and down the hall, trying to find where his partner had gone. After about five minutes he found him, talking to Lev. It was kind of funny to see Hinata have to literally look up to hold a conversation with the extremely tall teen.

“So you are dating the setter?” Kageyama rolled his eyes at Lev’s question.

“I have a name,” he said, coming into Lev’s view. The silver haired boy was smiling wide,

“I’ve heard things about you.”

“What kind of things?” Kageyama asked, glaring at Hinata, who just grinned in response. Lev shrugged,

“I don’t know. Hinata speaks awful highly of you though.” He blushed, glaring at Hinata.

“What?” Hinata asked, “You’re the best player I’ve ever seen.”

“Did you pay him the say that?” Lev whispered in Kageyama’s ear. Kageyama resisted the urge to punch his face only because he was a member of the other team.

...

“Are you getting up or not?” Lev asked doubtfully. Kageyama bolted upright,

“I am, I swear,” he responded, trying to erase the feeling of Hinata against him from his mind. He needed to focus today, and that meant living in the present.

“Why’d you even bother with morning classes?” Lev continued, tearing his shirt off and throwing on a new one. It was essentially the same, only difference being it was blue instead of yellow. What was the point?

“We all need gen ed,” Kageyama replied, rubbing his eyes, “The only time I could take this damn math class was early morning.”

“Okay, well, don’t forget your book, because I’m not lending one to you again,” Lev commented, lacing up his shoes.

“I won’t,” Kageyama said.

 

He forgot it anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Lyric: Bruised - Jack's Mannequin)
> 
> (Edit was just me fixing the notes lol)
> 
> Hope you're enjoying this so far!! I haven't done a lot of of Haikyuu, I'm relatively new to the fandom :O


	2. You’ve been gone for so long, I’ve forgot what you feel like. But I’m not going to think about that right now.

Friday night. The dorm was practically silent. Everyone was out, besides Kageyama. He was laying on his bed, setting his volleyball to the ceiling. Thrillingly predictable. Practice had gone well enough today, but he wasn’t happy. It sounded stupid in his head and written on paper, but he just didn’t fit in here. He’d never really fit in anywhere, but here it was made painfully obvious. Seriously, how had he ended up at a party school? Or were all colleges like this?

He heard his phone start to ring. He stood up quickly, and walked over to the buzzing device. His heart skipped a beat when he saw it was from Hinata, and he answered immediately. They hadn’t spoken since their last goodbye, and he found himself dizzy(from excitement or nerves?). “Tobio?” Hinata’s voice asked quietly. Oh no, he sounded tired.

“H-How a-are you?” Kageyama asked, tripping on his words in his flustered state. God, he sounded like an idiot.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Hinata replied. He didn’t sound as he said. It made the butterflies  in his stomach freak out.

“What’s going on?” Kageyama asked, voice softening in his concern(something he had come to realize he only did for Hinata). Hinata didn’t answer directly, instead asking,

“Is there any way we could, uh, meet up this weekend? Maybe you could come to my apartment or we could go to a cafe or something, I-I just miss you a lot.” He sniffled a little.

“You’re not crying are you?” Kageyama cried out, “Don’t cry over me!” He released his grip, realizing that his nails were digging painfully into his skin in his state of worry. They left little red indentations.

“S-Sorry,” Hinata murmured, “Today was just hard.” He went oddly quiet. Silence on the line hurt. Silence in general hurts.

“Hard? Why?” Kageyama asked, realizing what he had heard. His heart rate started picking up. He was getting more worried with every passing silent second. “Do I need to drive down there and kick someone’s ass?” he asked. He was on the verge of begging Hinata to explain.

“No! No,” Hinata immediately replied, “That’s not going to fix anything.”

“Then what can I do to help?” Kageyama questioned, biting the inside of his cheek.

“I don’t know! My problem is with the setter. We’re just not, you know, connecting. I’ve only been able to hit half of his tosses and even then not well. I’m afraid they’re going to bench me when real matches come around. It just makes me feel like shit.”

Kageyama released his cheek, realizing he’d been biting too hard. The sharp taste of blood filled his mouth. He really needed to calm down. “It’d be stupid not to let you play. You’re an amazing spiker,” Kageyama snapped.

“I guess I’m just not showing it very well,” Hinata said, sighing, “Sorry. I’m being a dow-”

“Send me directions to your apartment,” Kageyama interrupted, “I’m coming over right now.”

“What? It’s an hour and a half drive! You won’t be here until like 1 AM! I don’t want you out driving this late, especially on a Friday night. Everyone’s going to be drunk driving! You’ll get yourself killed!! Or you might fall asleep at the wheel!” Hinata said frantically.

“You’re worrying about nothing,” Kageyama replied, “Send me those directions.”

“Tooobioooo,” Hinata whined, “It can wait till morning.”

“Shoooyoooou,” Kageyama mimicked, “No, it can’t wait till morning.”

“Ugh, finnnnne. If you let me go I’ll send you the directions,” Hinata relented.

“Thank you!!” Kageyama said cheerfully. He had won.

“Bye,” pouted Hinata.

“Bye,” Kageyama responded. Moments later the phone buzzed with the directions to Hinata’s. He wouldn’t have to be alone on a Friday night(Or Saturday morning, depending on how you look at it)! The previously mentioned butterflies in his stomach turned to an excited swarm as he imagined the feel of Hinata’s hands on his body, and the feel of his own lips meeting Hinata’s. A wonderfully sickening buzzing sensation. He threw on his jacket, and then slung his bookbag over his shoulder. He checked himself in the mirror, running a hand through his raven hair. Fashionably messy. Or something like that. The sharp feeling of the door hitting his back quickly killed his mirror time. It was Lev, entering their dorm room. “Hey!” Kageyama hissed. His silver haired roommate’s face was flushed, and he walked with a bit of stagger in his step. He was wasted, but sober enough to ask,

“Where are YOU going at this hour?”

Kageyama snapped back, “What are you doing home at this hour?”

“Why are you so bitter all the time?” Lev muttered in response, collapsing onto the bed. Kageyama chose to ignore that question, walking out and slamming the door dramatically behind him. He didn’t feel like dealing with a drunk asshole right now(not to say that Lev is an asshole, mostly just the drunk part). Hopefully he hadn’t left anything inside, because it was too late to go back now.

He leaned back against the door, collecting himself for a moment. His phone screen lit up in his pocket. A text from Hinata. He examined the screen. The text read, “Can’t wait to see you!!” with a heart emoji for each and every color of the rainbow. Kageyama caught himself smiling. Hinata was really into doing mushy shit like this, and had a thing for emojis and emoticons. He shoved his phone back into his jacket pocket. He walked down the hall, catching one last glimpse of himself in the wall mirror, and made the mental note that he was glad he had dressed nicely today. His kicks were “sick” and his t-shirt was one that Hinata would approve of.

His car was waiting for him in the parking lot. It was a piece of shit, but it did its job. He opened the door, tossing his book-bag into the passenger seat. “Hey!” he could hear Hinata shout, catching the bag. His face was glowing, smiling at the pack. “Gotcha this time!” Kageyama rubbed his eyes, the illusion gone.

“What the fuck?” he breathed. The seat was empty save his bag. He momentarily pondered if he really was too tired to be driving. He shook it off, deciding that if worst came to worst he’d stop at a gas station and pick up a cheap coffee.

The car was silent. He hadn’t thought to bring any of his CDs out, and his radio didn’t work anymore after a certain someone spilled soda on it(god damn it Shouyou). He glanced at the dormitory disappearing in his rearview mirror. Something was contenting about leaving this place, even if he’d have to come right back for classes on Monday. The college pissed him off. He didn’t care about any of his classes(excluding P.E.), didn’t really want a degree(he just wanted to keep playing volleyball. A degree is just a justification of his desire), and somehow managed to make -2 friends. “Why are you the only one who gets me, Shouyou?” he asked himself. There was no response. He found himself hoping the hallucination would come back and talk to him. Anything to fill the god awful silence. Anything to make him feel less alone. _Maybe that was what my problem is_ , he thought, staring at the empty streets, _I forgot how to be alone._ He could hardly remember his world before Hinata was there to brighten him up a little.

_“Tobio, what happened to #$ &% and *&^#@$? Why have you stopped going to their houses?” his mother asked. He didn’t know. He didn’t know what was wrong with them. He said as such, _

_“I don’t know, they’re being weird.” He scrunched up his nose. “They never listen to me anyways,” he continued, crossing his arms in childish anger._

_“Is it them or you, Tobio?” his mother asked._

_“It’s them! I haven’t done anything wrong!” child Tobio exclaimed in response. His mother frowned, shaking her head a little._

_“In order to improve, you need to recognize there’s a problem,” his mother said. He took the words to heart, but not in the way his mother had expected. He threw everything he had into his first love: volleyball. He lied about going to his friends houses, choosing to set to the wall or even holding a teammate captive after practice. Eventually his mother got off his case. He didn’t just have her fooled, he had himself fooled. He got used to silence. And then he met Hinata. A boy half his height, literally crying because he was so passionate about volleyball. A boy who knew how to show his passion in a positive manner. Someone to learn from. And at the time Kageyama thought he’d be fortunate enough to never see him again. Fortunate._

“I’m lucky to have you,” he whispered aloud, shivering as he said the words. He was glad Hinata couldn’t hear him say it, because he was afraid of those words. He was afraid of what they meant for him, and what they meant to them both. Recently he could feel Hinata slipping away from him. Every silent second was a second Hinata could find someone else. Any second could mean the end of things for them. _“Don’t go,”_ Kageyama whispered.

…

Winter, First Year

“Don’t go yet!” said Hinata playfully, tugging at the back of Kageyama’s jacket.

“It’s getting late, my mom’s going to wonder where I’m at,” Kageyama responded, putting on his other shoe.

“Let me walk you home then,” Hinata said, bumping his head lightly into Kageyama’s arm.

“You? Walk me home?” Kageyama echoed. “What good would that do?”

“Mom says it’s the gentleman’s thing to do,” Hinata replied with a shrug, “Besides, do you really want to walk home alone?” The words echoed again in his mind, _Do you really want to walk home alone?_

“No,” Kageyama sighed, realizing that this was inevitable. Hinata was taking him home.  Scooping up his finished homework, he tossed it into his bookbag.

“Exactly!” Hinata exclaimed cheerfully, standing up. The orange haired teen picked his jacket up off the floor, zipping it up, “It’s freezing out there. You need me.”

“You think your skinny ass is going to keep me warm?” Kageyama replied snarkily. Hinata blew it off, opening his bedroom door up and placing a bobble hat on his head.

“Mom! I’m going to walk Tobio home!” Hinata declared. Before his mother could reply, Natsu sprinted from her room, crashing right into him.

“Your boyfriend hasn’t even said hi yet!!!” she exclaimed. _God_ , thought Kageyama, _This energy must run in the family._

“Boyfriend? Ha ha good joke, we’re not dating,” Hinata interrupted, frantically trying to shush his sister, hands going for her mouth. She was too fast, and dodged.

“Did you guys make out?” asked she, eyes wide and glimmering. Kageyama felt his face flush, and glanced over at Hinata’s face. His teammate’s face was almost as bright as his hair.

“We’re leaving!” Hinata decided, pulling Natsu off of his leg. “Byeee!” Natsu looked up at Kageyama, tilting her head.

“He looks emo,” she said, a mischievous grin on her face.

“We are leaving!” Hinata repeated, grabbing Kageyama’s hand protectively, pulling him out of the house. “Sorry about her,” he said apologetically,  shutting the door with his free hand. “She has no filter,” Hinata continued. Both of their eyes travelled to their connected hands. Hinata immediately dropped his for fear of pissing Kageyama off, leaving Kageyama’s ungloved hand hanging stock still in the air.

“Hinata, I need to ask you something,” Kageyama said, voice like ice. Hinata froze. Kageyama felt a crushing feeling in his chest. Could he do it? His vision went blurry. Why was he silent? He opened his mouth to ask, but he couldn’t find the words. Yeah, he felt like he was going to throw up. This wasn’t good.

“Do you want me to be your boyfriend?” Hinata asked in a small voice. Kageyama’s eyes widened. Had Shouyou just read his mind? Saying nothing, he nodded slowly, the world going back into focus at last. _How had he been read that easily? He wasn’t supposed to get read that easily!_ Hinata put his hand back into Kageyama’s, squeezing it. Warm. “That wasn’t that hard, was it?” he said, smiling. Kageyama gave him a small smile in return,

“Yeah. Not hard.” _Only died a little._

“Are you going to kiss me?” Hinata asked, looking up expectantly. Kageyama felt his face start to heat up again. Maybe Hinata was right about keeping him warm. “No?” Hinata continued, looking disappointed.

“W-What if your mother sees us?” Kageyama asked, nervously peeking through the windows. He could see the glow of lamps in the dark, peeking through the blinds. He knew that the ginger’s mother was in there.

“Don’t mind her,” Hinata replied, “Get on with it. Don’t want my lips to freeze off!”

“Lips can’t freeze off you dumbass,” Kageyama said, crossing his arms. Hinata sighed, asking,

“What if I kiss you?”

Hinata was moving towards him. Oh no. Kageyama felt a dizzying sensation and his vision blurred. Hinata’s lips were on his own. **_First kisses were terrifying_ **. He tried the ignore the nauseous feeling in his stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to breathe. Wait! He couldn’t breathe with Hinata’s face hole covering his own!!! He started to panic, and he slipped on the icy driveway, falling backwards and crashing into a bush. Hinata starting laughing, and Kageyama felt his face burn(perhaps he’d somehow lit himself on fire??). At least he could breathe now. Hinata’s face appeared over his. “You okay?” he asked, genuine concern in his voice. Kageyama sighed,

“I can’t believe I just fucked up my first kiss.” He felt his eyes water in his despair.

“I got your first!?” Hinata exclaimed, face lighting up, “I feel so special! Now let me have your second too-” Hinata interrupted himself, kissing Kageyama. Despite the fact that there were sharp branches poking into his back and neck, this one felt better. Maybe it was because he didn’t feel like he was going to die/throw-up. That had to be it. “Do you want me to help you out of the bush?” Hinata asked, politely holding out his hand.

“I guess,” Kageyama moped, allowing Hinata to pull him out of the bush. He even allowed Hinata to brush the leaves off of his jacket.

“Better?” Hinata asked, wrapping his arms around Kageyama’s waist.

Kageyama melted, “Y-Yeah,” said he.

“Let’s get you home before you break something. I need you intact for practice,” Hinata said, releasing him, and taking his hand back. This time it didn’t fill him with unease. This time it felt right, secure.

“I’ll kiss you right someday,” Kageyama muttered.

“What?” Hinata asked, looking up at Kageyama, who was staring at the ground.

“N-Nevermind!” Kageyama responded, mentally punching himself for saying his thoughts out-loud(a bad habit of his). Hinata looked at him curiously, giving him one last chance to answer with a simple eyebrow raise. Kageyama didn’t clarify his mumblings, and chose to let Hinata walk him home in silence. All he needed was this boy’s hand. He didn’t need to take more.

...

Roads came and went. It was getting darker, lights flickered off in houses he passed. He took a sip of the coffee, and resisted the urge to spit it out. It was nasty, but after getting lost in a daydream and almost driving off the road he decided it was for the best that he give himself a boost of caffeine, something to get him through the last leg of his journey. He tilted his phone towards himself, letting the glow of the screen light up the car. He was getting closer with every second. His heart picked up its pace. Was it the caffeine kicking in or was this excitement?

Slowing to a stop, he stared at the stars from the driver’s seat. The sky was bright here. The stars were much brighter than one could see on the stupid college campus. Moving his gaze from the sky to his immediate surroundings. He pondered if he was supposed to be here; if this was the right place. It looked shady as hell. He stepped out of the vehicle slowly, dumping his leftover coffee into the patchy grass. It’d help the yard more than hurt it, right? He popped a breath mint into his mouth, leaning against his vehicle. Should he have brought a gift? Or flowers? He started to panic, wondering if he should just leave before he screwed something up royally. The sound of the door opening jerked him away from his fears. His gaze fixed on Hinata. His boyfriend was standing in the doorway, orange hair overgrown and covering his eyes. Kageyama watched silently as Hinata brushed his locks out of the way with his fingers. That was hot. “Hi Tobio,” he said. The sound of his voice woke Kageyama, and he suddenly ran at him, wrapping the smaller boy in his arms. “You look tired. I told you to stay home,” Hinata continued, a happy but reluctant smile on his face.

“You sound like my mom,” Kageyama responded, not letting go. They stayed like that for a while, before Hinata said,

“Why don’t you come in?” Kageyama nodded, letting Hinata lead him in. Hinata’s hand followed the wall, and upon finding the light switch, he flicked on the lights.

“I know what you’re thinking, ‘Wow! This place looks sad!’, but it’s not bad once you get to know it.” Hinata said, looking down in embarrassment, “If I end up with some extra money maybe I’ll decorate.”

“Hey, this place isn’t bad. You have an apartment. I had to take a dorm as part of the scholarship,” Kageyama said, attempting(and failing)to make Hinata feel better. Silence. Kageyama became aware of something between them. He opened his mouth, but was surprised to hear the words come from Hinata’s mouth,

“Is something bothering you? Something just feels…”

“Off,” Kageyama finished, collapsing onto Hinata’s couch in dismay. Hinata sat down beside him, snuggling close, resting his head against on Kageyama’s chest. “Have you been alone this whole time?” Kageyama asked. Hinata paused, clearly thinking this one through.

“I mean, I’m surrounded by people... yet I feel isolated. It doesn’t make any sense,” Hinata responded, staring down at his hands. They held nothing.

“Like you’re living life on the outside?” Kageyama asked. Hinata looked up in surprise.

“Looking through glass,” Hinata continued, sitting up, “Do you understand that?”

“That’s how I lived before I met you,” Kageyama whispered. Hinata’s eyes widened in realization. Kageyama took this opportunity to slowly lean towards Hinata. He took Hinata’s hands, and brought their lips together. A warm rush filled his body, and forgot his previous lonely misery in seconds. He opened his eyes, and saw that Hinata’s eyes were shining with tears. “D-Did I d-do something wrong?” Kageyama asked frantically. Hinata smiled, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“No. It’s me,” Hinata reassured, “I just wish I could be there for you.” He sighed, letting his head fall onto Kageyama’s shoulder, and allowed Kageyama to scoop him up, holding him tightly.

“You are there for me, just not in the way I thought you’d be,” Kageyama responded, looking down longingly at him.

“I’m sorry,” Hinata said.

“Don’t be. It’s too late for that now anyways,” Kageyama murmured, putting his face into Hinata’s hair,  inhaling his sweet scent. He missed this. He missed this with every fiber of his being. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chapter Title is a lyric from the song "The Good the Bad and the Dirty" by Panic! at the Disco. Hope you're liking the fic so far :) Should be an update next week :D


	3. Forever Young or Growing Older Just the Same

Dawn’s light was peeking through the blinds, waking Kageyama. He was stiff and slightly uncomfortable, but didn’t want to wake Hinata, who was resting on his lap. After a few more moments of discomfort he decided waking Hinata was a risk he was going to have to take. Gently scooping him up, he slid him onto the couch cushion at his side. His partner was out cold. He smiled, running a hand through Hinata’s tangled locks. He was adorable, cheeks slightly flushed from the warmth from sharing body heat. His shirt was slightly pulled up, and Kageyama could see his flat stomach. He longed to run his fingers over Hinata’s torso, but doing so would certainly wake him, as Kageyama’s hands were Ice Cold 24/7. Deciding against it for Hinata’s sake, he went to find the bathroom. He stood slowly, watching Hinata. Hinata’s breathing remained slow and tired, eyelids not even fluttering. He was still and quiet, a state very few people were lucky enough to see him in. Kageyama considered taking a photo, but that could be taken by some as “creepy”.

Stretching, he decided he was glad to be out of that cramped position. True to his original purpose for standing, he found himself fumbling about in the low-light, looking for the bathroom. He stopped when he found a doorknob.  Turning it, he practically fell into Hinata’s bathroom, which was approximately the size of a closet. Shutting the door behind him, he flicked on the light and studied his surroundings. Despite its size, Hinata had managed to spruce the place up a little, placing a decorative soap here, a figurine there, and a little painting of a sailboat on the wall next to the mirror. Cute, borderline rustic. The previously mentioned mirror/medicine cabinet was secured above the sink. Kageyama stared at himself in the mirror. Light purple half moons were under his eyes. His hair stuck up in random places. Just out of bed, his face said, sleepy. He ran cold water, splashing it onto his face, and tried to flatten his rebellious pieces of hair. With a shake of his head, he sent the droplets flying off of his head and into various parts of the bathroom, including the mirror. He felt guilty, and picked up a hand towel, wiping not just his face but the clouded mirror. Seeing his reflection clear again, he smiled. Better.

There was a  knock at the door.  He reached over and opened it. Hinata was standing there, a sleepy smile on his tired face. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, falling into Kageyama, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “It’s too early for this bullshit. Come back to the couch. You’re warm.”

“I just needed a stretch, jeez. You got the better half of the deal,” Kageyama remarked, gently removing Hinata from his torso.

“Obviously, you’d kill me if you sat on my lap!!” Hinata exclaimed. Kageyama rolled his eyes, saying,

“Just go back to the couch. I’m not really tired.”

“Fineee,” Hinata whined, stumbling off in the general direction of the living room. Kageyama went off in search of the kitchen, deciding to make the duo breakfast. He didn’t trust Hinata to cook, not after the last time. He flicked on the light. It was a dreary little kitchen. No wonder this place brought Hinata down. The plain dusty walls were enough to depress anyone. He opened the little fridge. It was surprisingly empty, with nothing but a half empty milk container and a few apples inside.

”That rules out eggs,” whispered to himself. “What do you make for breakfast that doesn’t have eggs?” He was at a loss. He prayed that Hinata had something in the peeling cabinets. Pulling at the door, it flew off, literally coming off the hinges. “Shit!” he exclaimed. He set the door onto the counter, and peeked up into the dark cabinet. There were cobwebs, a box of plastic forks, and a bag of bread. He grabbed it, and opened it up. There was a single piece of bread. Kageyama sighed, shouting, “Hinata! You’re making it really hard to cook for you! Where is all your damn food?” He sighed, tossing the bag aside. Hinata appeared seconds later.

“Did you check…” he trailed off, looking at the broken cabinet. “What’d the poor cabinet do to you?” he jokingly asked, “I thought your anger issues had been solved.”

“It was an accident!” Kageyama exclaimed, face getting red, “It just fell off!!!”

“It’s fine,” Hinata said smoothly, coming over and popping the door back onto its hinges, “Happens all the time.”  Kageyama felt a little better. Hinata continued, “About breakfast…I actually had a little cafe in mind. We can drive, or run, or walk or whatever if you would like to go?”

“Then we’re going to pick you up some groceries,” Kageyama replied decisively.

“Oh stop acting like you’re more of a Functioning Adult than me,” Hinata said, playfully bumping into Kageyama.

“I am!” Kageyama exclaimed.

“Are not!” Hinata shot back, “Name something you’ve done as a Functioning Adult.”

“I paid a bill. On time,” Kageyama replied triumphantly.

“I, erm, did a laundry yesterday!!” Hinata said.

“I balanced a checkbook,” Kageyama said, crossing his arms, an evil look forming on his face. He totally had Hinata beat.

“I run a functioning agenda!” Hinata responded valiantly, “and I do dishes on a regular basis!”

“I haven’t had to stay up past one o’clock cramming once,” Kageyama said. Hinata put his hands on his hips,, replying,

“That’s because you don’t study at all. I’m passing all my classes.”

“I’m almost passing all my classes,” Kageyama muttered. “I’m not going to let you win. I am a more Functioning Adult!”

“Give it up Tobio,” Hinata said, “I’ve got you beat. I have an incredibly hot boyfriend who is a star setter. You can’t say the same.”

“I’ve got an adorable little boyfriend who is a spectacular spiker,” Kageyama shot back. Hinata blushed, asking in fake shock,

“I can’t believe you’re cheating on me!”

“Oh come on, you know it’s you,” Kageyama responded, scooping Hinata up in his arms and twirling him around.

“I wouldn’t call myself a , ‘spectacular’ spiker,” Hinata murmured.

“Oh stop it with the humble bullshit. You know you’re good,” Kageyama said, setting Hinata back on the ground. “Now, tell me more about this cafe.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s a cutesy little place. You probably won’t fit in there. You’re kind of, you know,” he stops, and then whispers, “emooo” before continuing, ignoring Kageyama’s annoyed expression, “They make really high quality muffins and good coffee so we’re going there,” Hinata responded. “Now I’m going to take a shower, soo, you can just like hang out I guess? There’s like nothing to do here, so good luck.”

Kageyama, after a few minutes of being unbelievably bored, decided that his activity of choice would be to serve a volleyball against the bathroom door several times, and it was going spectacularly well, that is until the door flew open and Hinata threw a damp towel at him. “You asshole!” Hinata exclaimed, “I just wanted to take a peaceful shower!!”

Kageyama smirked, tossing the towel back, “You? Peaceful? I don’t think so.” Hinata caught the towel(barely).

“I’ll do the same to you then!!! See how you like it!!” he exclaimed animatedly, droplets flying of his wet hair.

“Like your serves are powerful enough for me to hear them over the water,” Kageyama replied smugly. Hinata ran at him, attempting to tackle him to the ground but only succeeding in soaking Kageyama’s shirt. “Ah man, you’re all wet!” Kageyama exclaimed. Hinata grinned, shouting,

“Revenge!”

Kageyama sighed, pulling his shirt off over his head, and tossing it at Hinata. “You’re doing laundry,” he said bluntly. “Do you remember where I left my bookbag?”

“I didn’t know you brought one,” Hinata replied with a shrug.

“My change of clothes is in there,” Kageyama whined, “Help me find it.” They searched the house finding no sign of the bag. Then Kageyama remembered. “Shouyou,” he murmured, “It’s in the car.”

“Just run out and get it then,” Hinata responded matter-o-factly.

“I don’t have a shirt on!!!” Kageyama exclaimed, “I can’t just run half naked into public!”

“Why not?? I mean, it happens all the time at practice,” Hinata said, “I’m enjoying it.” Kageyama felt his face flush. “How about I just go out and get it,” Hinata remarked, realizing there was literally no way Kageyama was going out there.

“In your boxers?” Kageyama asked, gazing at Hinata. He nodded,

“Why not?”

Kageyama sighed, “You dumbass. You’re going to freeze.” Hinata shrugged, heading out the front-door, strolling over to the car. Kageyama watched him through the window, praying there was nothing sharp hidden in the grass. “You’re an idiot!” he exclaimed to himself, watching Hinata creep closer to the vehicle. Sure enough his was bag was in there, and Hinata held it up triumphantly upon its capture. He smiled right at Kageyama, and ran back to the door. He tossed him the bag.

“You’re welcome,” Hinata said sweetly, heading back towards the bathroom to finish getting dressed. Kageyama dug through his bag, fishing out his outfit. It was a black t-shirt. He looked at it, wondering, _Am I really emo??_ There was a pair of black skinny jeans too. _Oh no,_ he thought, holding a pair of black underwear,   _I am emo!!!_

...

“Are we there yet?? I thought you said this place was close by,” Kageyama whined, laying back on the passenger seat with his feet on the dash.

“We’re about five minutes closer than the last time you asked,” Hinata replied, causing Kageyama to sigh and gaze at Hinata.

“I’m soo hungry,” he whined, crossing his arms.

“Are you five?” Hinata responded, smiling good-naturedly despite being annoyed. Kageyama started flipping aimlessly through the stations on the radio until he found one playing a song he found Acceptable. Hinata took this opportunity to start talking. “So, now that things are...better I guess, how do you think things will go Monday?”

“Aghk!” Kageyama groaned, as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped on his head. “I don’t know. Don’t make me think about leaving you behind.”

“Sorry,” Hinata mumbled, before speaking up, “But you know it’ll be awhile before we can do stuff like this again.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama murmured despondently, gaze moving from Hinata to the window. The landscape wasn’t interesting, and failed at providing a distraction.

“That doesn’t change things though, you know that right? I love you just as much as I did when we were together 24/7,” Hinata said. It made Kageyama feel a little better. “What, nothing to say?” Hinata asked, taking his eyes off the road to shoot Kageyama a curious glance.

“I don’t know,” Kageyama replied, which was honest to some degree, “The word ‘change’, it’s so loose, you know what I mean?” Hinata shook his head. Kageyama continued, saying, “I mean, like, of course things have changed. Your hair’s longer. I’m lonelier. We’re not high school students anymore. So, what do you mean when you say ‘this doesn’t change things’?” Hinata’s face twitched as he thought. Kageyama waited silently for his words to process with his boyfriend. After what felt like an eternity, Hinata spoke,

“I mean that I love you the same. I don’t feel less in love just because you’re not here. I want you to know that I’m going to be loyal to you, and I expect that you’ll do the same.”

“Of course,” Kageyama said immediately, “I’m all yours.”

“That doesn’t give you an excuse to not make friends though. You’ll always have me, but you also need someone to complain about me to,” Hinata said, smiling.

“What’s there to complain about? You’re a literal ray of sunshine,” Kageyama said.

“Literal? I don’t think so. Last time I checked I was a human,” Hinata responded. Kageyama groaned,

“Take a compliment you dumbass.” Hinata laughed, and Kageyama felt his previous nerves melt away. Safe. He was safe.

A few minutes passed, and Hinata pulled into a parking lot next to a brick building. He turned the car off, shoving the keys in his pocket. He leaned over the seat, kissing Kageyama’s cheek. Kageyama returned the favor, readily meeting his lips in a short but sweet kiss.“Ready?” Hinata asked, an excited smile on his face, “I love this place.”

“Lead the way,” Kageyama replied, getting out of the car. The two walked hand in hand into the cafe. The wonderful smell of coffee (not gas station shit) filled their nostrils. There were cute two person tables set up strategically, and Hinata appeared to be eyeing one by the window. He motioned at it, telling Kageyama to “go protect it with his life”. Kageyama nodded, trusting Hinata to order something he’d like. He sat down, slinging his bag over the top rail of the chair. He eyed Hinata’s phone, and decided that it would be fun to spam selfies. Smoothly he slipped his hand across the table, pulling the phone back quickly. He guessed the passcode on the first try(volleyball), and then tapped on the camera. Instinctively he fixed his hair upon seeing himself, and did a couple poses before suddenly Hinata popped up behind him. “Shit!” Kageyama exclaimed, letting the phone fall onto the table.

“Busted!” Hinata said, snatching the phone from the table. He rolled his eyes, seeing the bunches of selfies. “I’m going to post these on Instagram,” he decided aloud, much to Kageyama’s dismay.

“You won’t. There’s like 15+. It’d take you an hour to upload of them,” Kageyama reasoned.

“Just wait. They’ll be there,” Hinata responded evilly, “You had this one coming.”

Kageyama groaned, slouching back in the chair, “But Shouyouuu, they’re for youuuu.” Hinata shook his head, climbing up onto the tall chair, which caused a small smile to appear on Kageyama’s face. It was cute how he had to scramble to get up. “So,” Kageyama started, straightening his back, “What’d you get me?”

“I got you my favorite. Obviously you don’t have the same tastes as me, but I still think you’ll like it. I also ordered you a breakfast sandwich so you will be quiet about being hungry,” Hinata replied. Kageyama nodded, glancing from the number on the receipt (19) to the cashier. His spiky hair looked familiar.

“Is that Bokuto?” Kageyama asked. Hinata nodded, responding,

“He works mornings basically everyday.”

“Never imagined him in a cafe,” Kageyama said, “Maybe theater, but never a cafe.”

“Eh, he tells me he enjoys it. At least most days. I think he got dumped last week though? He was really upset last time I came in. He didn’t say much about it. And he screwed up my order. I didn’t mind, but it looked like his manager looked like he was gonna kick his ass,” Hinata said, a worried look on his face. Kageyama felt a little jealous oddly enough. He tried to crush the feeling.

“D-Do you come in here a lot?” he asked guiltily. _It’s nothing,_ he reminded himself, _He’s yours. He wouldn’t…_

“Almost everyday. Probably why I can’t afford anything for my apartment, I’m spending all my money up on coffee,” Hinata replied, laughing at his own feeble joke.  

“19?” a voice called out from across the restaurant.

“I’ll get it,” Hinata said, standing up. He weaved through tables and chairs so that he got to the front. Kageyama stood up and headed over there to help him. “Hey! I’ve got it!” Hinata exclaimed.

“You’re going to spill everything dumbass,” Kageyama replied, taking his own things, leaving Hinata to mope. He glanced behind, checking out this Bokuto character. The spiky haired dude gave him a little wave, and Kageyama whipped back around in an attempt to pretend he hadn’t been staring.

Hinata hit Kageyama with his elbow, whispering, “Stop eye-balling Bokuto. You’re scaring him.”

“I’m doing that on purpose,” Kageyama murmured angrily.

“Oh my god, are you jealous Tobio?” Hinata asked, “Don’t be. Remember, I’m all yours.” Hinata reached up and kissed his cheek. Kageyama flushed. “There. Now you don’t have to worry about it.”

“A kiss on the cheek isn’t going to stop hi-” Kageyama was cut off by Hinata’s lips on his own. “We’re in public!!!” Kageyama squeaked when Hinata let him go.

“Why’s it matter?” Hinata asked. Kageyama’s eyes scanned the room. Several people were staring at him. He touched his burning face, covering his mouth. “Oh don’t be so embarrassed, it’s just a kiss,” Hinata said, setting his drink on the table and starting to climb up the chair. Kageyama set his food on the table, sitting in the chair with notable ease, face still red. Hinata took a drink of his coffee, saying, “You make being embarrassed adorable.” Kageyama was going to die.

…

Summer, Second Year

The sun was shining brightly today, despite summer nearing its death. Hinata’s shirt was on the ground and sweat covered his exposed skin. Despite this, he was lying against Kageyama, and both were starting to doze off. “You guys are grossly cute together,” Nishinoya commented, “Like, I think I’m going to throw up.”

“Oh please don’t,” Tanaka, whom was sitting next to him, immediately said. The sound of a phone ringing interrupted their chat. Noya took the buzzing device out of his pocket, putting it onto speakerphone. The sound of hardcore rock music filled the air.

“What the hell?” Kageyama murmured, “I thought it said that this was Daichi’s number?” Suga and Daichi’s voices joined the singer’s, and Noya and Tanaka were covering their mouths to keep themselves from laughing too loud. The entire group lost it when they heard Asahii squeak,

“Isn’t that a little loud guys?”

“Do you guys hear laughter?” Suga asked.

“Shit,” Daichi said, asking, “Who is this?”

“It’s Yū,” Noya replied, “I’ve got you on speaker phone. Tanaka, Kags, and Hinata are here. Where are you guys? You were supposed to be here like 15 minutes ago.”

“Suga’s not as good with directions as he says he is,” Daichi responded, slightly bitter.

“Say hey if you’re gay,” Noya whispered so that everyone but Suga could hear.

“Hey!” Suga exclaimed. Everyone started to laugh. “Why are they laughing now?” Suga asked. Daichi sighed in exasperation.

“You make me regret driving for hours to come see you,” Daichi said.

“Oh, you don’t mean that,” Noya said, “I know you miss good ole Karasuno.”

“You got me there. We’ll be there soon. We’re coming into town now,” said Daichi. Noya smiled,

“Gonna teach the first years a thing or two? We’ve got more than last year and they’re almost too much to handle.”

“Like you’re the one doing the handling,” Daichi remarked, “Poor Ennoshita. Probably has his hands full.”

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on me,” Kageyama muttered, moving Hinata away. Hinata blinked slowly, rubbing his eyes in apparent sleepiness.

“What?” he asked, yawning.

“Daichi and the others are going to be here soon. If you want to play a proper match you need to be awake, physically and mentally,” Kageyama responded.

“Wake me up then,” Hinata said. In a swift motion Kageyama grabbed Hinata with his hands, and pulled him in, kissing him roughly on the lips, biting him a little. “That’s one way,” Hinata said when he was released. His eyes flickered mischievously, “Damn Kags.” Tanaka and Noya were staring at them in shock, and Kageyama felt his face start to heat up. He was probably going to die from heatstroke. “You’re adorable when you’re flustered,” Hinata continued.

“A-Adorable?” Kageyama stuttered, shaking his head, “Me? No.”

“Yes,” Hinata said.

“St-Stop it!!” Kageyama exclaimed, “You’re going to _actually_ kill me!!”

“Maybe you should put your shirt back on, I don’t think your boyfriend can handle your body,” Tanaka said. Noya nodded,

“Look at the poor guy. I’ve never seen such a red face. You might want to dump some cold water on him.”

“It’s worked on me before,” Tanaka said, leaning back with his eyes closed, lost in some vivid memory most likely involving icy water and Kiyoko. Hinata sat frozen, a confused look on his face. Kageyama considered beating his head against the wall until he didn’t remember any of this.

...

“What’s on your mind? You seem, distracted…Did my kiss bother you that much?” Hinata asked, a worried expression on his face and in his voice.

“N-No, I just remembered something, that’s all,” Kageyama replied. He could still recall the splash of icy water falling on his head, soaking his hair and shirt. Droplets streaming down his face. Hinata asking him if that helped, chest still bare and extremely noticeable. Present Kageyama made the mental  note that he was glad that Present Hinata had a shirt on in the restaurant, though he wondered how the feel of skin on skin had changed. Could two months change that? He tilted his head, staring at Hinata. Change was always on his mind. Were his eyes playing tricks on him or did Hinata look thinner?

“Talk to me Tobio,” Hinata said, reaching for his drink again. “At least tell me if you like your drink.” Kageyama picked up the cub, peeking through the lid’s hole. The coffee was about the same color as Hinata’s eyes. A small smile appeared on his lips as he drank it. Of course. It tasted just like Hinata. Sweet, but surprisingly flavorful. Hinata raised an eyebrow, and Kageyama swallowed.

“It’s pretty good,” Kageyama said politely, unable to voice his previous thoughts because he believed they were too cheesy.

“Just ‘pretty good’?” Hinata asked, disappointment in his voice. Kageyama let himself loosen,

“It just makes sense that you like it. It’s definitely your coffee. Looks like you. Tastes like you.” He inhaled deeply, “Smells like you.”

“I smell like coffee?”

Kageyama smiled at him, “In a good way. I like the smell of coffee.” Hinata blushed.

“I’m always jealous because you smell so _manly_ ,” Hinata admitted.

“Scent isn’t a contest Shouyou,” Kageyama said, taking another drink of the coffee. They went silent. It was Hinata’s turn to think. Kageyama watched him, desperately trying to read his mind.

“We’ve been together so long. I feel like it’s special that we lasted through high school, I mean, we’ve had our fights, but we’ve stuck it out. Against all odds.” Hinata’s words were supposed to be kind, so why did they send fear into Kageyama’s heart? Why did they make him want to change things? Was it his tone? It had to be. He said it so seriously. _We’ve been together too long_ , was what Kageyama heard, _It was special in high school, but now I’m bored. You’ve forced me to stay. You clipped my wings._ “Tobio, what’s wrong?” asked Hinata. Kageyama’s breathing hitched.

“D-Do you want to, uhm,” Kageyama tried to keep talking, fighting the nauseous feeling in his stomach. Hinata watched him, the same worried look in his eyes. _You’re always worried about me_ , Kageyama thought, _Am I a burden?_ “Do you want to leave me?” Kageyama asked, voice cracking. “I’m sorry I force myself onto you,” he murmured, “I’m sorry I clip your wings, I’m sure you want to-”

“-You’re talking too fast,” Hinata interrupted, “None of the things you’re saying are true. I don’t want to leave you. I just feel like-”

“You’re bored of this, I know you are,” Kageyama said, trying not to let tears fall down his face.

“Just let me finish!” Hinata said in exasperation, “I’m happy with the way things are. I love you Tobio. Don’t forget that. I know you forget stuff, but don’t forget this, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update...Musical got in the way lol, our practices were going until 7:00 everyday so I didn't have any time to spare...but I actually have the rest of this fic almost ready to post!! The next update should be Thursday :D
> 
> Chapter title from "Golden Days" by Panic! at the Disco.
> 
> (when I wrote the majority of this I was on a Panic! kick okay) 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's been leaving nice stuff in the comments too, :), sorry I had to make you wait so long!!!


	4. It's hard to find the optimist in me, when the life I've loved is slowly wrecking me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a lot of suffering i'm sorry

“Kageyama, you’re going to be late for class if you don’t get up right now.” Lev’s face was hovering in front of his. “And I put your math book into your backpack, so if you show up without it I’m going to kick your ass.”

“You? Kick my ass? I don’t think so,” Kageyama yawned.

“D’ya have a nice weekend? I saw some pictures on Instagram,” Lev said. Kageyama groaned,

“That dumbass.”

“Yeah him. Did you guys, you know,” Lev said, moving his eyebrows quickly up and down, “Do the do?” Kageyama groaned(again!) and put the pillow over his face. “Does that mean no?” Lev asked. 

“We did a lot of talking,” Kageyama replied, voice muffled by the pillow. Hinata’s voice was ringing in his head, “ _ I love you Tobio. I’m happy with the way things are.”  _ Perhaps Kageyama’s problem was that he was happy with the way things  _ were _ .  _ I feel like you’re slipping away from me,  _ he thought,  _ Why didn’t this weekend help? I should trust you.  _

“Oh,” Lev said, “That sucks. Think he’s over you?”

Kageyama didn’t mean to punch him in the face, but his arm had escaped his control. “Oh god,” Kageyama breathed, staring at Lev’s shocked face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he repeated, staring at Lev, who was clutching the place Kageyama had hit. 

“Struck a nerve huh?” Lev said, starting to laugh despite obviously being in pain, “Sorry. I tend to overstep boundaries. Hinata warned me that you were a tricky one.” 

“T-Tricky?” Kageyama asked.

“Yeah, didn’t you like,  _ hate him _ when you first met? That’s what he told me,” Lev responded.

“No, I, I never hated him. I was just being an emo asshole,” Kageyama said, shrugging.  
“Aren’t you still an emo asshole?” Lev asked. Kageyama sighed, standing up.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” said Kageyama , dropping the conversation. He collected his things and headed into the bathroom. He was forced to share the bathroom with not just his roommate, but the people from the room next to him. He breathed a sigh of relief, finding no one in there. In a swift moment he had stripped his clothes down and was about to get in the shower. He twisted the knob, blasting hot water(honestly only idiots take cold showers). He was going to be late for class, yes, but he knew that he did more thinking in the shower anyways. 

Faded scars meant he was happy, right? Time had “healed” him, or however the saying goes. He was supposed to be content with the way things are. Why wasn’t he happy? This was supposed to be the time of his life. That’s what college is, right? An over-priced party. He was supposed to skip class and get drunk and make friends and try weed. “Why can’t I be normal?” he whispered, his voice surprisingly shaky. He longed to shut his mind off. Maybe that’s why his fellow students partied so hard. They were all escaping something. He’d never known a healthy escape. He spent his time with his eyes closed, trapped in a sick fantasy.  _ Think he’s over you?  _ Lev’s voice asked in his head, repeated so many times the words had started to warp. They twisted into something they weren’t, and Kageyama started to believe that Lev knew something. That Lev knew who Hinata really wanted to be with. Or who he was with behind with in secret. God, he was on the edge again. He was ready to quit, take the easy way out. If he cut things off with Hinata it would technically solve his problem.

He showed up to math class half an hour late. No one commented on his tardy arrival, for all they knew or cared he was simply stepping back in. He sat down next to Lev, and took out his math book. Lev gave him a smile that said,  _ Finally! You did it! You brought your book!  _ There was a note inside, with a little smiley face. It made him feel proud of an accomplishment that wasn’t really his. He flipped it over, and in tiny print it read,  _ The end is near _ . It appeared as though it was supposed to be with something else, as it was sideways and appeared to be torn. Lev wouldn’t purposely make him feel like shit right? Kageyama read his roommate’s face. Nothing about him screamed ‘evil’, but this dude just kept tearing him down. Maybe it was a, “Oh, I was just trying to prepare you!” kind of thing. Was he prepared for the end? No. Was the end likely? Yes. Or was it? He felt Lev tap his arm, “We’re dismissed.”

“Oh,” Kageyama said, collecting his things(despite bringing his book, he didn’t use it)and tossing them into his bookbag. His phone buzzed. A message from Hinata. ‘ _ Bored in science, entertain me. _ ’

Entertain? Kageyama looked over at Lev, asking, “How do I entertain him?”

“I don’t know?? Send a volleyball meme or something,” Lev responded with a shrug.

“Meme???”

“You know? Memes?” Kageyama shook his head. “Nevermind. Just talk to him. Sounds like you guys do that a lot,” Lev continue, slinging his bag over his shoulder and going to leave. He had an advanced science class to get to. He sent Hinata an honest message.  _ How do I entertain you??? _

Moments later he got a message. It was nothing but a strange emoticon.  _ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). _

(text)

KT: ???

HS: god dammit u have no idea do u lol

KT: ???????

HS: nvrmind wyd

KT: just got out of math (praying hands emoji)

HS: having a good day??

KT: lol

HS: ??? Lev said you were weird this morning.

KT: yeah i might’ve punched him in the face

HS: LITERALLY????

KT: yeah

HS: why??

KT: i felt like it

HS: i’m sure but why

KT: lol

HS: give me an answer tobio or i will drive down there and get the answer out of u

KT: i don’t even really remember

HS: bulllll

KT: ok fine i do

HS: are you going to tell me or not?

KT: …

KT: i should probably get to my next class

He shoved the phone in his pocket, ignoring the buzz of a couple more texts as he walked to the Foreign Languages building. If there was anything worse than math it was learning another language. Especially the hard ones. He sat down in the back, and considered putting his hood up. The only reason he decided against it was because that would be Too Emo To Handle. He decided to see what messages Hinata had sent him.

_ I know something is bothering you. _

_ You can’t ignore my messages forever! _

_ Call me on lunch or something. _

_ Please? _

He sent a message back.  _ I’ll call you.  _ He put his phone back in his pocket. Students were starting to come in.  _ Act natural _ , he told himself,  _ You are a cool adult. One of the students.  _ His phone buzzed, and he looked down. 

HS: i’m really worried :O

KT: don’t be. it’s nothing.

HS: it’s never nothing ://

KT: gtg, class is starting. can’t have phones out in foreign languages. that’s cheating or something.

HS: oh okay ttyl

HS: *heart emoji*

_ God he’s so on point with the emojis,  _ Kageyama thought to himself. The little image of a pink heart made his day at least 5% better. His eyes travelled to the board, where the teacher was starting. He hated this guy with a passion. Not only was he an asshole, he was hard to understand. He spoke too fast and taught poorly. Kageyama had a C- in this class. And he was actually trying. He started to doodle on his “notes” paper, occasionally writing down a word he was supposed to learn. Hinata had once praised his art, saying, “Is there anything those hands can’t do?” 

_ “One thing,”  _ it was Kageyama’s voice, but colder,  _ “Make him stay.” _

So maybe it was a mistake to break into the music student’s practice room during lunch break, when he should be calling Hinata and explaining his strange emotions. Yachi had given him the keys to practice room 3, telling him “If he lost them she’d do something v-very bad to him!!!” 

Practice room 3 wasn’t large by any means, but it had what he was looking for. He flipped up the lid to the large, ancient piano, staring at the keys. He hadn’t played in years. He tapped middle C with his index finger, looking around. Sometimes he wished he hadn’t spent all his time practicing volleyball. His mother had remarked similarly, saying she’d much rather go to a piano recital than a volleyball game. If he wasn’t 10, he would’ve flipped her off. Well, maybe not, even now, but it was a comforting thought. He set his fingers down, creating a C Chord. The most basic of chords. A happy chord. He changed the E to E flat. Minor chord. Sad chord. Whenever his mom made him play songs he always picked ones in the minor key because that’s how piano had always made him feel. He wondered if he still felt anything for the piano. Thinking back, he could recall a sign up in their house that read,  _ A piano without emotion is pointless.  _ Was his being here pointless?Or was it some twisted fate that the athlete find himself in a silent room with a piano? 

He set his phone to record and started to play. He wasn’t sure why he felt the urge to record it(maybe it was documentation of his descent into madness?), but that’s what he was doing. His memory of chord progressions was rough, and his hands were shaking. He didn’t have a sheet in front of him, dictating what he should do. He had no instructor roughly moving his fingers when he placed them on the wrong key. No direction. He was going solely on emotion. His music was raw, and it hurt, but in a good way. He continued to play until the sound of his phone ringing brought him back to reality. He picked it up. Obviously it was Hinata, no one else bothered to call him.

“I was waiting for you to call!” Hinata exclaimed, “I got worried so I called you, is that okay?” His voice sounded vaguely panicky.

“It’s fine,” Kageyama said. His voice sounded like a minor chord. Sad. He’d forgotten to pitch it happier.

“What is going on with you? Are you okay?” Hinata sounded frantic. It made him feel guilty. The room was starting to blur. Was he falling or were tears forming in his eyes? Cold words left his lips,

“Why haven’t you left me yet?”

“Y-You’re still worried about that? Tobio, I told you-”

“I’m sorry that I don’t trust you!” Kageyama exclaimed, “I know it’s stupid but I don’t!”

“Wait, what? What do you mean by that Tobio?” Hinata asked, voice small and scared, “What did I do to lose your trust? It wasn’t because I went to different college is it? That couldn’t be helped! That wasn’t my fault!” Kageyama didn’t say anything. He listened to the shake in Hinata’s voice, “I-I’m sorry! I know, I should’ve studied harder. I know I’m not smart, but you can’t hold that against me for the next four years.” God damn, he was crying. They were both crying. 

“Why do I ruin everything?” Kageyama whispered. He hadn’t meant for Hinata to hear that.

“What do you mean?” Hinata asked. He sniffled.

“I mean,” responded Kageyama, “I mean… I mean that everything I touch breaks! You’re right; you’ve done nothing. I’m just so desperate to ruin things that I made shit up.”

“Why?” An appropriate answer to what Kageyama had just said. It was the question that kept him up at night many nights. Mostly the lonely ones. He had asked himself a thousand times why he set himself up for failure. Why he set himself up for disappointment. Why he thought constantly of breaking Hinata’s heart.  _ It’s never nothing _ ,  _ it’s never nothing. Always something. Always something bringing him down. Never happy. Never content. Never satisfied. _

“I’m sorry,” Kageyama said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Are you?” Hinata asked. Kageyama’s eyes widened in shock. Had Hinata just-? He was challenging him? “You’ve said you’re sorry a thousand times and yet this keeps happening,” Hinata continued. Kageyama’s breath caught. Hinata sniffled again, “God, I’m sorry Tobio. You feel like shit and I’m making it worse.”

...

_ “Mom, I’m sorry. I’m trying as hard as I can! It’s just this section, I’ll get it-” _

_ “That’s what you’ve said everyday for the last two weeks. Your teacher thinks you’re not trying. You don’t want to bring shame to our name do you?” _

_ “Of course not, I’m sorry.” _

_ “Then act like it!” she shouted.  _

...

“Tobio? Talk to me, please,” Hinata continued, “You’re scaring me.”

...

_ Hinata’s voice; distorted. “Scaring me.” They were both in the bathroom. Kageyama’s hands were covered in blood. This time he’d gone too far. He turned to look at Hinata, begging forgiveness. Bloody eyed, tears dripped down his pale partner’s face. “Talk to me. Talk to someone.” _

...

“Where are you?” Hinata asked, “I’m in the car. I’m near campus. I didn’t have afternoon classes today.” That was a lie.

“Why do you bother?” Kageyama responded, voice exhausted. The room had grown cold. Icy cold. The keys were covered in blood. The walls bore his name. What the hell had he taken? Or not taken?

“Are you in your dorm?” Hinata asked.

“It’s cold in here,” Kageyama said, “There’s blood on the walls Shouyou. And on the keys. The whites are soaked. I’m afraid to play it. Mom’s gonna kick my ass.”

“What the hell?” Hinata asked.

“I think I’m dying,” Kageyama responded, “It’s kind of terrifying.”

“What did you do?” Hinata asked. Kageyama made a thinking noise, a sort of  _ hmmm _ . 

“Have you seen Yachi? I was supposed to give her the practice key back. I locked the door from the inside though. If I die in here I can’t give her the key back! Oh god, I really meant to give it back to her,” Kageyama said, diverting the conversation accidently.

“I’m going to call Yachi again. Just hold on Kags. Love you.”

The line went dead. At some point(maybe fifteen minutes?)the whispering was interrupted by a brutal pounding at the door. “Tobio! Tobio, I know you’re in there.” The door opened. Kageyama didn’t lock it right. Perhaps it was for the best. “Shoot! Hinata, I think he’s having a panic attack. Has he had them before?” Yachi was talking. Talking to Hinata. Hinata was here. His presence made him feel slightly better. Now Hinata was in front of him. His pale arms were shaking, eyes glancing wildly around, but they were reaching towards Kageyama. Hinata was scared. His eyes weren’t warm, they were dark and stormy. 

“Panic attack?” Hinata asked, “What do I do? And what about his arm?”

“Just, uh, hold him. Help him breathe,” Yachi instructed. Hinata did as told, wrapping his arms around Kageyama. 

“You going to be okay?” Hinata whispered. No, no the edges of his vision were going black.

“I don’t think he’s breathing!!!” Yachi shouted, startling Hinata. 

“How do I make him breathe!?” Hinata shouted back.  _ Good-night, _ Kageyama thought.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually updated like I said I would :D The last chapter should be posted next Thursday, give or take a day depending on when I get home/what's scheduled. Thanks for everything so far :) Criticism and other such comments are appreciated. <3
> 
> the Chapter Title is taken from the song "Wrong" by Finish Ticket. 
> 
> You should give it a listen!!


	5. I swim to brighter days, in spite of the absence of sun

_ “Someone’s here to greet you. Will you wake up for Hinata Shouyou?” _

His eyes opened. The room was bright. He was tired. He wanted to shut his eyes again. Hinata was at the foot of the bed. His mother was at his side. Wait, his mother was here? He focussed on her face. It was definitely her. She was probably disappointed in him. Was that what her face said? But where was he? He looked around. Definitely a hospital room. The bed was stiff, the room white. “Why are you here?” he asked his mother. His voice sounded gravelly and hoarse. As if it were not his own. His mother looked shocked that he would say such a thing, exclaiming in her own defense, “I’m your mother! Of course I’m here!” Kageyama blinked slowly, asking what had happened. No one answered, so he continued to talk.

“I don’t know why I’m here.” Hinata’s eyes filled with tears. He obviously knew, but it appeared as though neither he or Yachi were going to explain what they’d seen to him and his mother. Kageyama noticed that most of his arm was bandaged up. “I did something?” Kageyama said in surprise, touching the arm. He never touched his arms because he couldn’t hide them. That, and he couldn’t remember doing anything to them. Panic started to build up in his stomach. “Shouyou,” Kageyama breathed. Hinata wouldn’t look at him. The orange haired young adult fidgeted, playing with a bracelet on his wrist. “Shouyou,” Kageyama repeated louder. Hinata met his eyes, freezing like that. He was trying to be strong, but Kageyama could see the cracks in his foundation. He could see the pain in his eyes. What the hell had he done to him? 

Hinata’s mouth opened, and he asked a question, “Did I cause your episode?” Episode. Why’d he call it that? Not that there was a better word for it, “Episode” just made it sound like a soap opera. As if this was scripted. Losing his mind and memory certainly wasn’t on Kageyama’s To Do List. “Tobio, answer me,” Hinata said, voice cracking. The tears that he’d been trying so hard to keep in began to fall down his face. His posture crumpled as he realized he had failed. Kageyama looked from his hands to Hinata. He’d done this. This was his fault. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Hinata stared at him, a shadow flashing in his eyes, “Stop. Saying. That.” he hissed. The color drained from the room, or maybe it was just his face. “Now tell me, Tobio, is this my fault?” asked Hinata. Kageyama stared, unable to speak, at his tearstreaked partner’s face. Was it Hinata’s fault? No? Right? Then why couldn’t he say it?

“It’s not your fault,” Kageyama whispered, “It’s, uh...loneliness. I’m scared of being...alone.” Exposed. He felt exposed and vulnerable. He waited for Hinata to say something, to swoop in on him and pick the meat from his exposed bones. 

“Kags, you know, I-I can’t always be there for you. It’s an hour drive. I was afraid of, well, this,” he said, gesturing generally around the room, “Somehow I just knew you were going to do this. You’re lucky I found you. Do you know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t?” 

His mother went to step in, “Aren’t you being a little harsh?” she asked. Kageyama stared at his mom. Had his mom actually just-? Her?

Hinata kept going, shooting Kageyama’s mother a dirty look, “You scared the shit out of me Tobio! There was blood  _ everywhere _ . When Yachi told me you’d stopped  breathing,  _ I thought you died.  _ I thought you died in my arms, and I was terrified. Can you imagine holding a corpse? So...Can you get help or something? Because I don’t want to lose you for real next time, okay?” Hinata sniffled, giving Kageyama a fake smile. 

“C-Could we have some privacy?” Kageyama asked in a small voice, looking from his mom to Yachi. The women nodded, exiting the room, but not without a few backwards glances. Hinata moved closer. His voice sounded more calm when he asked,

“What do I need to know?”

He had ceased his crying, which was a relief to Kageyama. He never knew what to do when his partner started to cry. “Are you going to leave me?” the words left his mouth before he realized what he was asking. His heart was beating out of his chest. He bet that Hinata could hear it in the near silent room. 

“Why do you keep asking me that?” Hinata asked in defeat, “If I wasn’t in love with you, I wouldn’t be here, dumbass. What do I have to do to prove that to you? Just because I’m not with you 24/7 doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I want to make this work, really, I do, but if you can’t work yourself out, we can’t work.”

_ Goodbye isn’t supposed to be easy. ‘Goodbye’ wouldn’t be so damn memorable if it was easy. _

“Is this goodbye Shouyou?” Kageyama asked.

“No, it’s see you later,” Hinata responded, “Our game isn’t that far away.” He was on the bed with Kageyama, on his knees, hovering over his face. Hinata had small hands for a spiker. His fingers moved delicately, collecting Kageyama’s tears, moving clumped black hairs from his eyes. Kageyama could clearly see his partner’s face. He sat up, bringing their lips together. He bumped Hinata’s nose.

“S-Sorry,” he murmured.

“Don’t be,” Hinata breathed, “I always thought it was adorable.”

Lips rejoined. They were one. He clutched at Hinata desperately, holding tightly onto his partner’s waist and shoulder. He took as much as he could, indulging himself in this moment like it was his last. It could be his last. Hinata was softer, but just as desperate. He held on, massaging his partner’s shoulder blade with his thumb. “Promise me,” Hinata said, taking a breath, kissing him again, “Promise me that you’ll try.”

“Of course I’ll try,” Kageyama responded. Hinata frowned, saying,

“Say that you promise.”

“I promise!” Kageyama said. Hinata’s face lit up, and he kissed Kageyama tenderly. Somehow this one felt more real, and it sent a shiver of hope through Kageyama’s body. 

“I don’t care if you break every other promise you make, but please, please don’t break this one,” Hinata begged. Kageyama nodded slowly, the meaning of the words hitting him a little too slowly. Hinata reached into his pocket. “I, uh, I’ve been meaning to give this to your for awhile. Like, last summer. But I didn’t make the money fast enough-”

“Is that a-”

“It’s a promise ring,” Hinata confirmed, “So don’t doubt that I’ll be there for you.”

“I love you sooo much,” Kageyama said, wrapping his arms tightly around Hinata. Kageyama felt hot tears prick at his eyes. He was happy. This was joy. Joy was being alive. Joy was being alive against it all. He backed up, looking at Hinata’s face. 

“Don’t cry!” Hinata exclaimed, despite tears streaking his face. 

“You don’t cry!” Kageyama replied. They both started to laugh, because, wow, they were such a wreck. 

“Try on the ring. If it doesn’t fit I’m going to punch myself. I had Lev measure your finger in your sleep and everything,” Hinata said as Kageyama held out his hand.

“WAIT WHAT?” Kageyama exclaimed, “In my sleep?”

“I’m just kidding!” Hinata giggled, “I just had him look at your class ring.”

“Oh, okay,” Kageyama said, visibly relieved. Hinata slipped the ring onto Kageyama’s ring finger with shaking hands. “Oh Shouyou, it’s so…wonderful.” 

“I’m glad you like it,” Hinata responded, kissing Kageyama again, “Every time you think of giving up, I want you to look at that ring and think about what you lose if you fold under the weight of your doubts and fears.”

Kageyama felt himself start to cry again. “Shouyou, don’t you ever let anyone tell you you’re stupid, because you’re a damn genius.” Hinata looked at him in confusion,

“What?”

“I said you’re a genius!” Kageyama exclaimed, wiping his face with his opposite hand. 

“Me?” Hinata asked, “What drugs do they have you on?”

“Oh, you and your humble bullshit. I know you’re melting on the inside,” Kageyama responded.

“Okay, I’m only melting a  _ little _ ,” Hinata said, crossing his arms. They heard a knock at the door. Hinata panicked, slipping on the sheets and crashing to the ground. 

“Are you okay?” Kageyama exclaimed, sitting up quickly. His vision blurred. Yeah, he wasn’t ready for that yet. He peered over the edge. Hinata was lying on the ground, staring up at him. 

“This proves my point,” Hinata said, sitting up and dusting himself off. 

“What have you two been doing?” Kageyama’s mother. She sounded pissed. “I’ve been waiting out there for like an HOUR.” Kageyama wanted to argue(Come on woman, it’s been like five minutes), but decided against it, considering how much anxiety he must’ve caused in the last few hours. Yachi gave him a little wave. He gave her a small smile, and she smiled back. 

Kageyama looked back down at Hinata. Kageyama asked, “So, what are the doctors going to do with me? Is there a plan?”

“Not yet,” his mother admitted, “We’re going to see what we can and can’t do.”

“Okay,” Kageyama said quietly. Fear was already beginning to grow in his stomach. He didn’t want to talk to strangers. He didn’t want to take pills, and he didn’t want to go to  _ therapy _ . But now he had a commitment. He looked from the ring to Hinata. He couldn’t let his partner down. Not again. Or goodbye would mean the end. The end of all things he loved. All things he lived for. And he didn’t want to be around to see that happen. “I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said aloud. His mother looked over at him, and she took his hand, gripping it. 

“You always have,” she said, tears forming in her eyes. “I love you, Tobio. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t around. I’m sorry I was hard on you I-”

“Mom,” Kageyama interrupted, staring into her eyes. They were ocean blue, just like his. He’d never really noticed how similar the shades were. “Don’t apologize. You just wanted me to be the best I could be.” 

...

The gym was huge. But that was to be expected at college level. Kageyama ran his fingers along the long scar on his right arm. He was embarrassed by it, and longed to hide it. He knew it’d be plainly visible when he set too. His team(and Hinata, and the coach, and his mom, and Yachi and…) had told him to pay no mind to it. It was, simply, a scar. Kageyama owed no one an explanation. It didn’t stop him from feeling self conscious. 

He looked down at his hands. His finger seemed empty without his ring. But alas, one can’t wear jewelry during a match. His mother was in the crowd. So were a couple Karasuno homies and other random college students he was “friends” with. On the opposite side of the court was Hinata. The moment that they’d both been waiting for was finally here. Hinata gave him a little wave, bouncing in his excitement. They were both on their A game, ready to play. They both wanted nothing else but to win. Kageyama bet it was going to be a deuce. A long, tiring, deuce. Only one could come out victorious.

_ No matter what, I’ll defeat you Shouyou,  _ he thought,  _  I will win again. And you never let me hear the end of it.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter :O I hope you enjoyed this!!! :)


End file.
